Tuesday, October 13, 2009

New Cialis Slogan

First, please excuse me in advance if this post is either rude or crude. I simply have no control over the workings of my brain.

But I’ve just been assaulted by two thoughts whose juxtaposition finally made sense of one which was previously unimaginable. I figured I’d pass the discovery along in case others might have had the same confusion.

Let me explain.

I am on my way to Paris. Walking through Newark airport earlier tonight, I was musing about my recent post about fat Germans (here). I started to conduct yet another thoroughly unscientific mental study about the largeness of the average American. I eyed the people streaming past me in the concourse and tried to guess the average weight in this little corner of Americana. At one point, I passed an unusually long string of, shall we say, broad people, and concluded that, indeed, Americans are large. On top of that, some of them were not the best looking folks I've ever seen.

That’s thought number one – hold that thought.

Earlier, on my way to the airport, I heard a radio segment on Cialis which mentioned the now ubiquitous statistic that 40% of men over 40 suffer from Erectile Dysfunction. Now, I am only recently over 40 myself, but that statistic has always astounded me. Forty percent! I vary between horror at the affliction and sympathy for those who might suffer from it. I pray that I might never be afflicted myself one day.

That’s thought number two.

As I continued to walk through the airport, I couldn’t help but put the two thoughts together. I realized that the average dude lying in his bed unable to perform because of ED was actually lying next to the average woman. But we’ve just determined that this average woman is most likely quite fat, and maybe even a little ugly, too. And it all made sense! Because if I were lying next to a fat ugly woman, I might have Erectile Dysfunction too, even if I didn’t actually have it. Hard to get the juices flowing, so to speak.

I wonder what percentage of men would suffer from ED if each of them were instead lying next to an 18 year old Jessica Simpson (not today’s Jessica Simpson). I suspect the number would be very, very small.

And it made me wonder if Ely Lilly & Co. ought not to embark upon a whole new truth in advertising campaign. It could be tremendously effective. It would go something like this “Cialis – have sex again, even with your wife!”

Again, please excuse the nature of this post. I disavow any control over its content.